im putting this thread in general because its not tech discussion, more like tech slander
WARNING: wall of text. BUT this is sposed to be funny and writing lots of assignment stuff makes people go crazy, especially when this stuff happens...




OK SO HERES THE STORY RIGHT?!

IM LIKE THE COMPUTER REPAIRWHORE OF THE FAMILY BECAUSE IVE SPENT MORE TIME ON A COMPUTER THAN EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY AND EXTENDED FAMILY ADDED TOGETHER.

WE NEVER HAD A COMPUTER TIL I WAS 8 AND EVEN THEN IT WAS WIN 95 AND COULD BARELY RUN SOLITAIRE OR NOTEPAD, THEN IT GOT TO MILLENIUM AND I GOT TO PLAY COOL SHIT LIKE MECHWARRIOR 3 AND STUFF AND EVENTUALLY GOT TO XP. WE DIDNT HAVE THE INTERNET TIL I WAS LIKE 12, AND IT WAS WITH ONETEL WHO SHORTLY WENT BANKRUPT SO WE LOST THE INTERNET AND EVENTUALLY GOT IT AGAIN WITH OPTUS WHICH FUCKING SUCKS STILL BUT AT LEAST IT WORKS.

I LEARNT THE MOST ABOUT COMPUTERS BY ANNOYING MY FRIENDS, ABUSING GOOGLE, AND DELETING SYSTEM 32 CONTINUALLY WHILE BLAMING IT ON MY SIBLINGS. THEN I GOT A LAPTOP FOR DOING WORK AT SCHOOL N STUFF AFTER FORMATTING A FAMILY LAPTOP WE GOT NOT LONG AFTER GETTING THE INTERNET AGAIN BECAUSE MY BROTHER WAS A SMARTASS AND LOCKED EVERYONE OUT AFTER MAKING HIMSELF ADMIN. TO ME FORMATTING THE COMP WAS THE EASY SOLUTION TO GET BACK TO USING IT. HE LOST ALOT OF SHIT BECAUSE HE NEVER BACKED UP SO REMEMBER TO BACK YOUR SHIT UP LEST A SPITEFUL PERSON FORMATS YOUR COMPUTER!

IT GOT TO THE POINT WHEN I WAS LIKE AWESOMESAUCE WITH COMPUTERS BECAUSE I WASN'T RETARDED AND LOOKED AFTER THEM. THAT WAS WHEN I WAS ABOUT 15 AND SPENT TIME 'ACQUIRING' VARIOUS PROGRAMS, A COPY OF XP MEDIA EDITION AND ENJOYED DISCUSSING SHIT WITH FRIENDS AS WE EXPLORED COMPUTERS WHENEVER WE WERENT GOING OUT DOING CRAZY SHIT OR HAVING PARTIES. AFTER GETTING VIRUSES FROM MANY THINGS I LEARNT EVENTUALLY HOW TO DETECT WHAT WAS A VIRUS PURELY ON INTUITION AND SUCCESSFULLY DIDNT GET A VIRUS ON MY LAPTOP, EVER. I USED THE DESKTOP AS A GUINEA PIG BECAUSE IT IS AN ANCIENT PIECE OF SHIT AND GETS FUCKED EVERY TIME ANYWAY.

MY NEW DESKTOP WHICH I GOT WHEN I WAS 17 I THINK GOT A VIRUS ONCE, WITHIN A WEEK OF BUYING IT, BECAUSE I DOWNLOADED CRYSIS AND IT DIDNT COME WITH A CRACK AND I WANTED A CRACK BUT THIS CRACK WAS CLEARLY A VIRUS. I THOUGHT FUCK IT MY COMPUTERS NEW ILL FORMAT IF I NEED TO AND RAN IT ANYWAY. THE VIRUS COPIED ITSELF TO MY IPOD, MOBILE PHONE, USB AND EXTERNAL HARDDRIVE THAT WERE ALL PLUGGED IN AT THE TIME AND I MUST HAVE SPENT 12 HOURS REFORMATTING AND RUNNING LINUX AND SHIT TO EVENTUALLY WORK OUT WHAT HAD WHAT AND FIX THE FUCKIN PROBLEM THAT I THOUGHT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY AND OVER IN 30 MINUTES TOPS.
SO REMEMBER IF YOU ARE GONNA RUN SOMETHING RISKY THAT NOTHING IS PLUGGED INTO YOUR COMP AND YOU SCAN IT FOR VIRUSES!


I HAVENT HAD A SINGLE VIRUS SINCE AND I DONT RUN ANY ANTI VIRUS, EXCEPT SPYBOT'S TEATIMER WHICH DOES WHAT VISTA DOES EXCEPT IS ALOT LESS ANNOYING AND WAY LESS SUBTLE (WHICH IS RUNNING IN THE BACKGROUND MAKING SURE IF YOU RUN SOMETHING THAT IT IS YOU WHO DECIDED TO RUN IT AND NOT VIRUSES INSTALLING THEMSELVES). WHEN I BROWSE THE INTERNET I USE MOZILLA FIRE FOX WITH THE NOSCRIPT ADDON, WHICH BLOCKS ANYTHING THAT ISNT HTML AND I CAN CHOOSE WHAT OBJECTS (EITHER FLASH, JAVA, OR WHATEVER) TO BE LOADED OR NOT. YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW MANY EXTERNAL SITES SPAM THEIR ADS IN THE BACKGROUND ON SOME SHITTY WEBSITES.
I DONT EVEN USE AUTOMATIC UPDATES, FUCK THAT SHIT. PITY WINDOWS KEEPS BITCHING TO ME ABOUT IT BUT I TELL IT TO FUCK ITSELF AND DO WHAT I TELL IT TOO.


NOW WE HAVE FOUR COMPUTERS IN THIS HOUSE, FAMILY DESKTOP, BROS DESKTOP, SIS' LAPTOP (MY OLD ONE WHICH NEVER FUCKED UP) AND MY DESKTOP. THE FAMILY DESKTOP HAS ALWAYS BEEN FUCKED CAUSE EVERY TIME ANYONE COMES OVER THEY LIKE TO USE IT TO CHECK STOCKS OR SPORTS SCORES OR SOMETHING AND MY FAMILY USES IT TOO FOR ALL SORTS OF SHIT, PLUS ITS ANCIENT AS HELL WITH AN OLD PENTIUM 3 AND LIKE 1 GIG OF DDR RAM AND A 32MB NVIDIA VIDEO CARD FROM 1995 OR SOME SHIT THAT CANT RUN ANYTHING MORE ADVANCED THAN MECHWARRIOR 4 OR WORLD OF WARCRAFT ON LOWEST SETTINGS (WHICH STILL GOES AT 6 FRAMES A SECOND).

MY BROTHER IS RETARDED AS SHIT AND HIS COMP HAS NEVER EVER WORKED PROPERLY EVEN WHEN I TRY TO GET IT WORKING SO I GIVE UP AND BLAME THAT ON THE FACT IT IS HIS AND THE COMPUTER REALISED PRETTY QUICKLY IF IT LET HIM USE IT IT WOULD GET MAJORLLY FUCKED SO INSTEAD OPTED FOR THE SUICIDE OPTION OF RANDOM THINGS FAILING TO WORK NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES HE FORMATTED IT, HOW MANY WIRELESS ADPATORS HE GOT OR HOW MANY OPERATING SYSTEMS HE TRIED TO RUN.

MY SISTER'S WAS DOING FINE UNTIL SHE TOOK A USB TO A FRIEND'S HOUSE AND HER FRIEND, WHO'S DAD IS REALLY HIGH UP THE MANAGEMENT CHAIN OF HP IN AUSTRALIA OR SOMETHING, HAS MORE VIRUSES THAN RUSSIAN HACKERS HAVE PUMPED OUT IN THE LAST TEN YEARS. SO INEVITABLY A COUPLE OF VIRUSES JUMPED ON BOARD LIKE STDS FROM A 2 DOLLAR WHORE AND WHEN SHE CAME BACK HOME AND PLUGGED HER USB IN FOUND THAT HER LAPTOP WOULD HAVE ITS WEB BROWSER REDIRECTED EVERY TIME SHE CLICKED A LINK. PRETTY MUCH TURNED IT INTO ONE OF THOSE GHOST SERVERS THAN SEND SPAMMY SHIT OUT TO EVERYONE IN EXISTANCE WHETHER THEY HAVE AN EMAIL ADDRESS OR NOT.

I FORMATTED THE THING A FEW WEEKS BACK AND REMOVED THE VIRUSES FROM THE USB (WHICH HAD SPREAD TO ANOTHER USB AS WELL) ONLY TO FIND OUT A FEW DAYS AGO IT BLUE SCREENS EVERY TIME SHE STARTS IT UP. I TOLD HER TO USE THE DESKTOP WHICH I REFORMATTED BECAUSE IT RUNS LIKE SHIT AFTER 6 MONTHS OF USE A WEEK BEFORE THE LAPTOP AND IT HAS A HIJACKING VIRUS TOO REDIRECTING TO SEEDY PORN SITES.
AND MEANWHILE IM THINKING "FUCKING FUCK WHY DOES EVERY COMPUTER IN THIS HOUSE FAIL TO WORK UNLESS IM THE ONLY ONE USING IT I JUST FORMATTED THESE PIECES OF SHIT AND NOT EVEN A MONTH LATER THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY ROOTED". THE ONLY COMPUTER THAT ISN'T INFECTED FROM A VIRUS APART FROM MINE IS THE OTHER DESKTOP WHICH REFUSES TO WORK PROPERLY AT ALL BECAUSE IT DECIDED MUCH LESS PAIN WAS INVOLVED BEFORE IT EVEN CAME OUT OF THE BOX.


COMPUTERS ARE FUCKING SMART, IT'S THE USERS WHO ARE FUCKING RETARDED.



so who else here is guilty of trashing their computers because they cant look after them?

well i need a new screen after destroying my good one in a fit of rage at the amount of text you posted in one day. DO YOUR FUCKING UNI WORK YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!

i have done a bit
but one assignment is about vegans and i fucking hate talking about that shit.

gonna wash some dishes before raging on in my assignments.

sounds like my life story

merry christmas.

NEXT

Quote :

AFTER GETTING VIRUSES FROM MANY THINGS

You better not have rabies or some shit.

Lord White wrote:

Quote :

AFTER GETTING VIRUSES FROM MANY THINGS

You better not have rabies or some shit.

Worse, the Dog Flu.

shit hasn't even hit the news yet because there's no survivors. except dogs.


EDIT: i noticed a 'thanks' button has appeared next to everyones post. i dunno what it does but i clicked on yours lord white.
thanks for caring about my personal health and hygiene.

I see no button lol. Maybe you should do a crash course in net safety or get one of those kiddy lock programs.

dog you see weird shit in the forums.... the thanks button isn't activated..

IT WAS BEFORE AND I CLICKED IT! IT WAS WHITE AND LIT UP LIKE THE QUOTE BUTTON!

IM NOT SEEING SHIT!

maybe its not activated because i was the first to click it? HA I STOLE THE FORUMS 'THANKS' VIRGINITY!

Dog rapes forum, Roman Senators pregnant with Dog men.

YOU CANT STOP DEMOCRACY

I don't but guns can

fuckin good response man, good response..

Cosmics Sig gave me the idea.

can i take compliments back?
if so i do now. if not, youre lucky you got a free one Lordy off someone else's work!


=P

Quote :

free one Lordy off someone else's work!

Please god tell me thats not What I think it means.

rofl Lordy, Gazz is sposed to make that attempt at defiling my posts, not you. btw youre just copying me, copy cat. go take a snooze.


haha wounded. what is it sposed to even do? auto generate a +1 for someone? or give like extra points or something..

how does the point system work i wonder.. (so i can increase it further!)